I gave you my number.
my drug dealer cracks me up
"hey can I copy your homework?"
“I was gonna copy yours”
I use sarcasm because flat out telling you you’re a fucking moron is considered inappropriate and is frowned upon. And I was raised better than that.
GUYS MY TEA KETTLE IS GONE WHERE DID IT GO I NEED TO HEAT UP SOME WATER
its okay i found it
You gave me a forever within the numbered days
i will destroy you for this do you understand
what if lawn mowers are so loud because they have to cover the screams of the grass being massacred.
i need feminism because a man on tv just said we (the men) are the victims when it comes to cheating because women walk around wearing almost nothing which makes it impossible not to cheat
it’s not a ghost story, it’s a love story
for gorgeous georgia
nine out of ten dentists recommend Colgate. the last one won’t stop recommending “the flesh of the innocent” and “thousands and thousands of skulls, staring, judging” and quite frankly we aren’t sure if he’s a real dentist or not
and now, the weather
This is what happens for real when I can’t find the right words.
Horse Tornado is the only phrase I will use from now on
my brother forgot the word so he said “leg elbow” one time